Well, not really ‘Yay !’ More sort of ‘Oh !’ or ‘Oh well .’ John gave me a card, I gave him a little red heart which lit up. Inside John’s card was a booking for the evening of my birthday to see King Lear at The Globe. I really hate King Lear. ‘But you like Shakespeare’ said John looking hurt.
‘And you like music but I still wouldn’t book you a chamber music recital on your birthday.” I said nastily.
‘It’ll be a very good production.’ John said ‘Couldn’t you just put up with it. The only other thing they had coming up at The Globe was A Midsummer Night’s Dream.’
I like ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream.’
Anyway, later, a beautiful bunch of flowers arrived from John. Why is he making such a big deal of Valentines day ? Maybe he’s having an affair. How exciting. Poor her, she must never see him.
Zac and me went shopping. Zac has no clothes like my mother. When Ned was here I asked him where he gets his clothes as he struck me as rather stylish. Ned said he shopped in ‘various boutiques.’ Zac said he’d rather I didn’t ‘take the piss out of my friends.’ I really didn’t, but we don’t have ‘boutiques’ around here but I suppose they still do in Hampstead.
Zac and I went to Oxford Street. First of all we went to Selfridges. I love Selfridges. If I have to be blown up by the terrorists, I hope I am shopping in Selfridges when it happens.
I took Zac to the men’s Salon. Zac has a lot of nits but they don’t look for them in The Men’s Salon because nits are way outside their experience. A lovely Polish girl cut his hair and he looks lovely, I can see his face and he has blue eyes. I had forgotten that he has blue eyes.
We had lunch in the Lab Cafe on the second floor. We danced around the Men’s uber-designer section with a beautiful, delicate gay shop assistant in very tight trousers and tried on some Alexander Mcqueen. We bought Zac two pairs of Hightops in the Street Wear and Skate department and a lumberjack shirt which is very fashionable. Zac began to look quite attractive.
‘Zac, you really ought to pay more attention to the way you look. You are really quite an attractive boy.’ I said.
He said ‘Hmm.’ which I think is private school for ‘Whatever.’
We went to Urban Outfitters and bought a Penguin cardigan, a ‘jock’ jacket and some skinny black jeans. Then we caught a bus home.
When we got home Zac was starving. ‘Can you make me, like a, sandwich?’ he asked Abigail. Abigail is a very good sandwich maker, although how she could make him ‘like’ one, I don’t know. She made him one with two fried eggs and some Turkish white beans from a tin.
‘ Your hair looks nice Zac.’ she said.
John came home from work at 9.30. ‘Your reviews were good.’ he said. ‘I took out Tom Waitts and added John Martyn, I also took out Newton Faulkner.’ I didn’t mind. Who is John Martyn?
We went to our local Indian restaurant. The waiters were very attentive. Tariq is a father of four and he says his children are all very well behaved. The food was very nice and Tariq gave me a Valentine’s rose. John says that he thinks it is a very bad sign when your local Indian knows you by name and that perhaps this goes some way to explaining that he is ‘Almost down to 17 stone.’
15th February 2008
Things Abigail doesn’t understand.
1. Judgemental people.
2. Fat people who just keep on eating.
3. Religious people and people who believe in the after life. ‘ I mean, why would you go and talk to someone who is buried in a grave? They can’t hear you?’
4. People who choose to appear on ‘Come Dine With Me.’ ‘Haven’t they got any friends?’
5. Lent
6. People who eat meat.
7. People who live in the country by choice.
Last night Abigail went to the pub with some school friends. Today she rang me. ‘I am still alive.’ she said.
‘Oh good.’ I replied.
‘Can you come and fetch me from Camden?’ she said ‘I feel really rough, I was sick.’
‘ Oh,’ I said ‘OK.’
I drove to Camden. Abigail got in the car.
‘What happened?’ I asked.
‘Well’, she said ‘ I was sick. We were in a pub and I can’t drink as much as I used to and all the girls wanted to go on to a club. I was too drunk so Briony put me in a cab back to hers. I was sick in the cab but the driver was very nice’
‘ Good God ! ‘I said ‘That was so dangerous. Was it a black cab? Did Briony give you a key?’ I asked.
‘ No, it was a mini cab. ’ she said ‘ But Briony’s mum is always up in the middle of the night. She wants to go home to Argentina. Why was it dangerous? It was a licensed firm and everything.’
‘Some cab firms take on casuals on a Saturday,’ I said ‘You were very lucky.’
‘No,’ Abigail replied ‘Anyone who has anything bad happening to them is very unlucky. It’s quite different.’
Abigail told me everyone she knows takes drugs.
I said that I didn’t think I would ever take drugs because when you are drunk you don’t tend to think that you are being amazingly glam and interesting, in fact, you are more likely to think other people are, and then you fall asleep. But when you are on drugs it seems that you think you’re extraordinary when really you are just being dull, like Pete Doherty and that bloke who sat next to me at the Brits last year.
Abigail said ‘ I have taken a few drugs.’
‘Which ones?’ I asked.
‘Why do you want to know?’ she said.
‘Curiosity.’ I replied.
She said she had smoked majuana.
‘What really? No coke? No crystal meth or anything?’ I asked.
‘No.’ she said. ‘ Did you know everyone in Ohio takes crystal meth because it’s in the fertiliser? Coke doesn’t do much, really and I‘d never take E. It’s too dodgy. Do you know, one person in Colombia dies for every gram of coke snorted in the UK?’
I didn’t know that and I think Abigail may be obsessed with Ohio.
John said ‘So what have you done? Taken three kinds of dope and watched two episodes of ‘Skins?’ Cool.’
I don’t think John is taking all this seriously enough.
Abigail says ‘You both make feel sick.’
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