Ellis says we must go to Lidl.
Ellis says that, because of the Credit Crunch, shopping at Lidl should be the first choice of Middle Class Families in North London and that we had better get used to it.
We drive to Tottenham Hale and we go to Lidl.
In Lidl there is no nice music. There are piles of duvets in wire baskets. There are blow up Kyaks. There are ‘Fruit Juice Drinks’ and also ‘Fruit Juice Made From Concentrate.’
There isn’t any Tropicana Orange Juice.
‘The thing about shopping in Lidl,’ says Ellis ‘is that there is quite a lot of skill involved.’
Ellis and I are the only English people in Lidl.
‘What kind of skill?’ I ask.
‘Well,’ says Ellis ‘for a start you have to be more Target Conscious. This is not a shop for the Casual Purchase or inwhich to Browse. I am here for the Parmasean Cheese and the Gravadlax. Honestly it’s the only way to move forward in the present economic climate.’
I conclude that Ellis must have been listening to too much ‘Money Box Live on Radio Four.
‘Aren’t you at all tempted by these Kyaks?’ I ask.
‘I really cannot afford to be distracted.’ says Ellis loading his trolley high with cheap Parmasean Cheese. ‘Discipline is the only way forward. Have you any idea how much my builders are charging me?’
I lob a Kyak into my trolley, in case Fraser and Bella invite us to their place in the Languadoc again. Kyacking is very big down there at the moment.
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