Easter Sunday. 23rd March 2008

Sunday 23rd March 2008. Easter Sunday

Ellis comes to save me at 3 am. I am suicdal. Usually, when this happens I sleep in my car but Abigail won’t let me. 

Ellis says it’s ridiculous to sleep in a car and that he will give me a key to his house, although, actually, he says, his house is probably colder than my car and that he has hypothermia. Ellis is a very good psychiatrist, he is also vey very kind. I love Ellis.  

Easter morning.

I have a BRILLIANT idea.

I will buy a house near Penzance. It will be a small house with a wood burning stove and slate floors. I will buy Maisie a Welsh section C sports horse. It will be a flashy bay with plenty of scope and she will go to the Bolitho School and join their riding team. 

Me and Maisie will jump ship and leave the captaining to someone else.. Abigail probably..

Then, John will buy a high spec flat in a new development. It will have bamboo flooring and plasma screens. He can live there with Zac and Abigail and they will be very happy.

I look on the internet to find our new lifestyle. We aren’t rich enough. Oh well.

Ellis comes for lunch. He brings John Hegley, Hannah and her little brother. Hetty is in the South of France with Delia Smith’s food photographer.

John Hegley is a very famous poet. He has been on Richard and Judy and Radio 4. He is one of Ellis’s best friends. 

John Hegley stayed the night on Ellis’s sofa and as a result he has hypothermia when he arrives. 

We huddle round the fire and talk about the Edinburgh Festival and the Bloomsbury Set. We talk about painted furniture, velvet cloaks and Virginia Woolf. 

Ellis says ‘Your house is so tidy.’

I say ‘ It’s outer tidiness is a sign of it’s inner chaos.’ 

Abigail and John make lunch. She makes Ottolenghi salad and roasted potatoes with toasted almonds and garlic. He bakes a whole salmon. John Hegley goes to King’s Cross to meet a friend.

Abigail eats a piece of lemon tart from Waitrose. We all pretend not to notice.

Tuesday 25th March 2008

Tessa Jowell’s Gypsies.

I told you ! 

I read in The Sun that Tessa Jowell has a £1,000,000 house in the country and that gypsies have come and put  plumbing in her back garden. They have burned some rubbish and parked 30 caravans on some homemade hard standing. 

The gypsies said they didn’t know that an MP lived in the house but because they have some Human Rights it will take 8 years for the council to move them. 

They said that they are all christians. I was on their side until I read that. Imagine having a load of christians living in your back garden. Nightmare !

Gordon Brown had better buy back those Human Rights as ASAP.