Abigail had a lovely birthday. She had lots of money and lots of presents. She drank champagne in Nobu and Ellie came too. Nobu was full of Eurotrash, the food was very good and Abigail ate some. She looked pretty and smiled all through lunch and then she and Ellie went shopping in Selfridges.
When she got home all the West London girls came and danced in the kitchen and smoked in the garden. They had shimmery, swishy hair and glittery dresses and very high heels. After a while, they got two Premier Cabs to the girl from Kngs’ party. Maisie was excited by all the glamour and so were the Premier Cab drivers.
Job done. Now I only have two children.
Today I am fed up with trying to get people to do things they don’t want to do.
I am tired out by trying to stop Evil from peeing on the sofa,I am tired of trying to get Zac to shave, I am bored to death with telling Maisie to practice her piano, I am exhausted by endlessly telling John to move more and eat less and I am dying to go and live in Panama.
At least Abigail is a fully grown woman and I no longer have to tell her anything because as a fully fledged adult she will no doubt do everything she is supposed to do without my input. Oddly that hasn’t happened with John. John says I give him a hard time, I think I am very nice.
I am not going to tell anyone what to do for the whole of next week.
This morning I vowed to learn this by heart:
“ It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.”
It shouldn’t take long to learn and then I can chant it to myself when I am hanging up the washing. I am not sure what effect this will have but things have to change around here. At the moment I am the cabin boy of my soul, a slave to my fate and I complain endlessly about how ‘strait the gate’ is.
Yesterday evening I bit all my nails off so short that my hands hurt. I don’t know why I did that.
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