Charlie Says.... Saturday 2nd August 2008

Saturday 2nd August 2008. Charlie Says...

Claire’s middle child, Charlie, is coming back to London. Charlie needs to spend a weekend here. Charlie wants to spend a weekend with Us.

Charlie, Claire tells me, has had enough of the Bitter North and the Blasted Heath. 

He is fed up with the Moors, with the High Chill Wind which blows until the very Bones of the Earth are revealed,  granite-grey through the Sparse Soil and Crusted Heather. He is tired of the Twisted , Stunted Gorse and says that if he sees another Dry Stone Wall he may very well Throw Up. 

In short, Charlie has Had It with Stalybridge and would  like to come Home to the Soft Airs and Dulcet Tones of The Cockney Cab Driver. To Boris Johnson, To Selfridges and to the Sweet Dampness of a London Summer.

I say ‘That’s fine.’ I resolve to take all the children to Harrods. 

Harrods is nearly as good as Selfridges with the Added Fun of the Diana And Dodie Memorial.

Claire says ‘Charlie’s never been to Harrods.’

Some people are very odd.

We go to Harrods.

We go on The Tube.

Harrods is very exciting. 

Outside Harrods are rank upon rank of expensive cars. They are parked all the way around the block. 

There are Rolls Royces and Bentleys, Lamborghinis and Aston Martins. There are beautiful young Arabic Boys leaning against their Porches, smoking. There are Seasoned Chauffeurs in Uniform waiting by their Stretch Limos. 

Charlie and Zac are amazed. 

‘How is it that people are so rich?’ says Charlie.

‘Oil.’ says Zac. ‘Wow, look at that Ferrari.’ he says.

Charlie looks.

We go into Harrods.

We go up and down the Egyptian Escalator.

Abigail and me buy underwear.

Maisie buys an amazing Sticker Making Kit and rides a £5,000 Rocking Horse in the Toy Department.

‘You could get a really good Real Horse for that.’ says Zac.

We check out the Exercise Machines in the Sports Department. We look at Polo Mallets and Saddles.

We see Bengal Kittens and Pomeranian Puppies in the Pet Shop. 

We eat Dim Sum in the Food Hall.

Last of all, we go to Admire the Diana and Dodi Memorial. 

It really is Awfully Good.