Paxos. Air Excel August 18th 2008

We are going to Paxos.

We are packing. 

I am going to spend all night packing. 

I hate packing.

John says he will pack for himself.

Zac says ‘I have left my swimming trunks on the Giant Boat in Sweden.’ 

Abigail is very happy and has packed a Tiny Little Bag full of Tiny Little Clothes. ‘I’m not going to check this in.’ she says.

Maisie says ‘Abigail says there’s no point going to bed because we have to get up again at 3. When’s 3 ?’

‘God, you’re stupid.’ says Zac to Maisie. 

John is stuffing linen shirts into his case.

‘There won’t be an iron there.’ I tell him. ‘ If you don’t fold those shirts up properly they’ll be unwearable.

‘What do you mean, there won’t be an iron there? What kind of place are you taking us too? asks John. John is still Very Cross because of Seasick Steve and the Freight Trains.

‘Oh, you know,’ I say ‘A kind of Aya Napa-come-Faliraki, 18-30 fun-fun-fun all the way without-an-iron kind of place.’ 

‘Well that counts you two out.’ says Abigail, coming into our bedroom.’God.’ she says ‘Why are you taking so much stuff?’

‘I’m taking the iron.’ says John.

We wait at Gate 24 at Gatwick Airport.

We are flying air Excel and I feel a bit sick.

I hate Air Excel.

‘Why can’t Air Excel land a plane properly?’ asks Maisie.

There are two drunk boys playing on a games machine at Gate 24.

‘I’m not sitting next to those two.’ says John.

‘Can I sit near the window?’asks Zac. Zac is not keen on flying.

Later, we are all in the airoplane. 

Zac is sitting near the window.

“This is your Captain, Duncan Goodhew, speaking and I’d like to welcome you all aboard this Air Excel flight to Corfu this morning. I’d also like to apologize for our delayed start today. 

We’re about half an hour behind schedule because we had to off load a couple of drunks and locate their bags to off load those too. I can only apologiz for this but we at Air Excel take anti-social behaviour from our passengers extremely seriously.’ says our Captain. ‘We are about to begin our taxi out to the runway within the next 10 minutes and I would advise that you keep your seatbelts fastened for the duration of the flight, because should the plane have to make any Sudden Moves or take any Evasive Action,  unsecured passengers are likely to find themselves floating around the cabin and the Civil Aviation authority takes a very Dim View of floating passengers.’ he says.

Zac looks a Bit Green. ‘Who does he think he is ? James Bond?’ says Zac.

Abigail is reading the In Flight Shopping Magazine. John has his ear phones in and is listening to Bob Dylan. 

Maisie’s eyes are getting rounder and rounder.

‘Anyway,’ says our Captain ‘failing any other pieces of Bad Behaviour from Idiot Passengers we should be arriving in Corfu at approximately 8.30 am their time and I wish you all an enjoyable trip.’

I pull one of John’s earphones out of his ear.

‘The Captain’s called Duncan Goodhew.’ I tell him.

‘He’s insane.’ says Zac.

Isn’t Duncan Goodhew a bald swimmer from the 70’s?’ says John.

‘I wouldn’t be at all surprised.’ says Abigail, looking up from her Shopping Magazine. ‘Can we buy one of these Underwater Cameras?’she asks.  ‘They look so cool.’